Communicate with your LGBTQIA+ or Gender Non-Conforming child.

Communication and listening aren't just about the words that are verbally expressed. Communication permits us to exchange ideas and how we convey what we are feeling. Open and honest communication is a cornerstone of any strong parent-child relationship, and this becomes especially important with your teenagers.  Avoid rushing into problem-solving for them or (offering) unsolicited advice, and instead, give young people  the space to express their feelings and experiences. Sometimes, just saying, “Thank you for trusting me to share this,” can help build trust and set the tone for ongoing conversations.

For great communication to happen, we need to regard what the other is saying, even if we oppose the idea, this is to genuinely show respect to one another.  It is important to permit your loved one to talk, without talking over the person or correcting what is being said. Seeking clarification is different, this requires a calm tone and a sense of curiosity “I want to make sure I understand you (repeat what they said)” or asking “What I hear you saying is (repart what what said not the feeling)…” and sometimes this is where communication begins to breakdown as people often respond to the feeling that arises during the conversation.

If you want to know how your young person feels, ask them. It may not be easy to hear but it can be a powerful way to connect. Generally, youth are not asked to share their thoughts with adults because “adults know best." This limits effective communication and it displays the message that you aren’t receptive to your young person. Parents who have open communication with their teenager, do not have to agree with what is said nor do parents have to comply with what is said, however, having an awareness of how your child feels does allow the young person to be “heard”.

It’s also important to educate yourself about the LGBTQ+ community. Teens often feel disconnected when adults lack understanding about their identity or community. Taking the initiative to learn shows that you’re invested in their world. You don’t have to know everything, but asking thoughtful, open-ended questions like, “How can I support you better?” or “Is there anything you’d like me to understand about your experiences?” can encourage meaningful dialogue. Avoid judgment or assumptions, your role as a parent is to listen and validate, not to critique or impose your own perspective. Quite possibly the most remarkable approach to strengthen the parent-child relationship is to set aside the effort to earnestly tune in and listen with empathy.

Lastly, remember that communication isn’t just about talking—it’s also about showing support through actions. Advocate for LBGTQ+ rights, ensure their environment is safe, and celebrate who they are. Small gestures, like attending local events together or reading a book on queer experiences, can speak volumes. Respect their privacy but remain present, engaged, and open to have conversations. When teens see consistent, loving support from their parents, it creates a foundation of trust, helping them navigate the world with confidence and resilience and the ability to use their voice. It requires some investment and persistence; however, the prize is worth it.
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Dr. Shawn, The LPC


Dr. Shawn studied African American women and the mother-daughter relationship and has worked with people of all ages. Dr. Shawn has seen results with evidence-based treatment but quickly learned people need a safe place to discuss her concerns and fears. She has over 20 years experience as a counselor, educator, author and mother an LGBTQ gender non conforming child.